A broken heart

I've been trying to find the words to describe the hurt I feel today. My heart is broken. I feel like my heart has been ripped out, torn to shreds and there is an empty gap where it should be. The pain has been so intense at times it is hard to breath.
Why is my heart broken? My youngest child, my beautiful daughter posted on Facebook that she has married a man she gave away her birthright for. She got married days ago and although we've talked numerous times since then she lied and deceived me over and over again. Would I have supported her decision? No. Would I have attended her wedding? I don't know. I'll never know because I didn't get a chance to decide. I thought over the last year our relationship was getting better. That she felt she could talk to me.
Now I know she was just telling me things she thought I wanted to hear, not realizing that as hard as the truth is to hear it is so much better than betrayal and deceit. The knife in my back is being twisted and turned until I am bleeding inside and don't know how it will ever stop.
Am I surprised she married him? No. I've been expecting it for almost 3 yrs. Did I think I would find out on Facebook? Not in a million years. I can't think of a more cruel and heartless way to tell your family who loves you with all their hearts that they have lost you. I don't know who my daughter is anymore. All I know is my heart is broken and the pain won't stop.

Mothers

My mom, Elizabeth Reynolds Crook was a wonderful mom. She loved her children unconditionally and I gave her plenty of reasons to give up on me. She grew up the youngest girl and was a favorite of her parents. When she married dad she left her family and moved to a strange place called Utah where she learned to milk cows, slop pigs, raise chickens, pick and can her own fruit and vegetables. She taught herself so many different things and she never gave up. She was a worker bee and I rarely heard her complain about anything.  I admire so many things about mom that I didn't recognize until I was an adult and until she passed away. There are so many times I wish I could call her just to talk. I love you mom and can't wait to see you again.

My mother-in-law Marjorie Huntsman Mayfield taught me so many things about being a mother and wife. She taught me how to cook California style with lots of fresh veggies. She served others all her life and especially her husband the last years of his life. She was always busily engaged in doing good works. She took care of her neighbors bringing treats and a smile. She taught me that faith can be simple and powerful. She taught me about angels. I love her and miss her.

My sisters have been great examples to me and have 'mothered' me on and off all of my life. They are wonderful mothers to their children and to other people's children too. They are examples of righteous women    who love the Lord. I want to be like them when I grow up. :)

Kirstie has been a mother for almost 10 years and is someone I look up to. She is so patient and giving to her children. She teaches them cooking and cleaning and how to love life. She takes them for walks and out for adventures. She always is doing something with them or has plans for her children. She loves them and supports them and helps them feel good about themselves. She is a wonderful mother and I thank God for her in my life. 

Sonja is the newest mother in my family. She is a good mother to little Gratton and has been so very sick. She works tirelessly sewing  blankets and bibs. She crochets and knits and loves to make crafts. She is a good mother and I am so blessed to have her as part of our family. Thanks David!

These are some of the most important women in my life. I cherish the gift of knowing them and having them in my life. There are other special women in my life as well (especially Chelsea and Alysa) but I will have to highlight them on a different day. Thank you to all the mother's out there who 'mother'.